By Simone Soliman (Registered Psychologist) & Narmatha Thillainathan (Director & Clinical Psychologist)
As parents, we must raise resilient children. Resilience is vital for their well-being and future success. It equips them to navigate challenges confidently and bounce back from predictable or unpredictable setbacks.
In this article, we highlight three key features that evidence-based research suggests are beneficial and crucial to fostering resilience in children. By understanding and implementing these strategies, you can actively engage in your child's emotional development and future success!
Promoting Emotional Awareness
Emotional awareness forms the basis of resilience. Helping your children recognise, understand, and manage their emotions is essential. Here’s how you can promote emotional awareness:
Encourage Open Dialogue: Create a supportive environment where your children feel comfortable discussing their feelings without fear of judgment. Encourage them to articulate their emotions, whether excitement, frustration, or anxiety about school or social pressures.
Model Healthy Emotional Expression: Demonstrate healthy ways to express and manage emotions. Share your own experiences of overcoming challenges and how you manage stress. This sets a positive example and encourages open communication.
For instance, after a long day at work, when your child might push your buttons from the backseat of the car, take a second to think about what behaviours you want to model. Parents control the temperature! You might start by saying, “I feel…”
Teach Coping Skills: Equip your children with practical coping strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, or journaling. These techniques help manage stress and build emotional resilience in academic pressures or social conflicts. You might even set time to journal about your day with them during the evenings to encourage them!
Age-Appropriate Communication and Techniques
Effective communication and strategy tailored to your child’s developmental stage are crucial for building resilience and knowing how to manage the situation. It might be helpful to consider these strategies:
Active Listening: Practice active listening to understand your child's perspective. Validate their feelings and concerns, even if they seem trivial from an adult's perspective.
Empower Problem-Solving: Encourage autonomy by involving them in decision-making processes. Guide rather than dictate solutions to problems, allowing them to learn from their experiences and develop critical thinking skills.
Discuss Facing Fears: Encourage your children to confront their fears in a supportive manner. Discuss strategies for overcoming challenges, such as breaking tasks into smaller steps or seeking help from peers or mentors.
For instance, practice active listening if your child wakes up and does not want to go to school. Understand their concerns about attending school and discuss their options. What are the pros and cons of each option? If we review these options and their pros and cons, which will serve us the best in the long term?
Validate that it can be challenging initially, but by taking small steps and giving support when needed, we can achieve what we thought was impossible! A helpful analogy is that we don’t jump into an icy lake; we go in by our toes, then our foot, and inch by inch, we are in!
Avoid 'Permissive' and 'Dismissive' Parenting
Resilient children benefit from a balanced parenting approach that provides support while fostering independence and responsibility. Avoid these pitfalls:
Permissive Parenting: While supportive, avoid overindulgence or leniency. Set clear expectations and boundaries to instil accountability and self-discipline.
Dismissive Parenting: Don't dismiss or minimise your child's concerns or fears, even if they seem trivial to you. Take their feelings seriously and offer empathy and guidance.
Encourage Facing Fears: Foster resilience by encouraging your children to face their fears in a supportive environment. Provide reassurance and celebrate their efforts, regardless of the outcome. This builds confidence and resilience over time.
Practice actively listening to their concerns and setting boundaries as parents. What is most helpful for the child in the long term? Do they understand this, too?
Authoritative Parenting: This balanced parenting approach encompasses warmth, responsiveness, and clear expectations for children. Authoritative parents are caring and listen to their kids' feelings, but they also set clear rules that make sense for their age.
This maintains household behaviour expectations and provides children with structure and consistency. When setting rules, it's vital to explain their purpose. This helps your child understand the consequences of their actions.
Another benefit of this parenting style is that it helps a child become independent. It lets them make age-appropriate choices and learn from their experiences.
This parenting style is associated with positive outcomes for children, including healthier social development, a greater sense of self, and better academic performance. With this, you can feel reassured. Your work to create a balanced, nurturing environment for your child is effective and beneficial!
To nurture resilience in children, you must:
Improve both your and their emotional intelligence.
Use age-appropriate communication.
Apply the best, research-based parenting style.
Support and guide your children as they face their fears. This will help them overcome challenges and build resilience for life.
At Breakthrough Psychology Practice, we understand the challenges that come with parenting. Our compassionate team is here to support you and your family every step of the way.
We offer a range of evidence-based Parenting programs, such as 123 Magic and Emotion Coaching or Parenting Teens. These programs are designed to assist parents in reflecting on their parenting style and adopting a style that will foster a healthy relationship with their child.
We are passionate about working closely with children, adolescents, and families here at Breakthrough Psychology Practice. Our clinic Director Narmi, has developed a positive psychology program, Acing Anxiety, that targets Teens and their well-being. This program is run in conjunction with High Schools in NSW.
As an extension of this, our Clinic Director has offered many corporate organisations a seminar on Building Resilient Teenagers and discussing the magic of parenting teens.
We are passionate about working closely with children, adolescents, and families here at Breakthrough Psychology Practice. If you're looking for support, click here to book a session with our compassionate team.
About Breakthrough Psychology
Breakthrough Psychology offers a holistic approach to your family’s mental health. Located in Sydney’s Hills District in West Pennant Hills, our team (led by Director, Clinical Psychologist and Adjunct Fellow; Narmi Thillainathan) of qualified and experienced psychologists provide a calming and accepting space for therapy and psychological diagnostic assessments. Dedicated to child, adolescent and adults’ mental health, wellbeing, and breakthroughs, we run workshops throughout the year. Or book a School or Corporate Talk, providing evidence-based insights coupled with practical tips on a variety of topics.
Disclaimer The information provided by Breakthrough Psychology, on our website, and in our blogs and posts, is for educational and informational purposes only. The information provided on this site and social outlets is not, nor intended to be, a substitute for individualised professional advice or care. Please book in for an appointment. If something you have read here has raised any questions or concerns regarding your situation, feel free to call 02 8978 0600 or ask a question here.
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